I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
