I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
