2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
