someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I think my moral compass just broke
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