He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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