i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
