i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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