OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
