I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
no you cant smoke seaweed
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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