nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
