k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
