OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
