Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
