I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It was like giving head to a cactus.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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