things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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