woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
