I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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