so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
