I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
