Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I want her autograph on my taint
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
