And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
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