party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
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