You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Randomize
