dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
