I met the friendliest cop last night
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
