I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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