I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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