hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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