You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
