Someone shit on the floor
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
