Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
