Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
