already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
