Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
grandma shit on top of the toilet
this just has baby written all over it
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
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