woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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