he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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