That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
