You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Randomize
