I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
