reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
