I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize