I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
