just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
