girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
