I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize