I wish I could punch you in the face.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Randomize
