it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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