Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
