She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
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