Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
