k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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