the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
