Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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