I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
