My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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