My hand turned me down
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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