were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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