Buhtt sex?
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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