I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just googled if crying burns calories
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
