Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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