found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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