Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
