The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
