I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
